Empty Nester – Extraordinaire

Posts Tagged ‘whisper’

A Dark Future

Several years ago, I read the article “I have seen the future – and it’s goth,” written by Dave Simpson and published in the Guardian, 21 March 2006. With his impressive Googling skills, Alek helped me find it again a couple days ago. I’d mentionned the findings reported in it to a friend on Facebook and thought it might interest out other readers.

When other adults question us allowing our children to be exposed to a goth lifestyle [and they do], we know we don’t share their worries.

That [parents of goths will probably end up boasting about their son/daughter the doctor, lawyer or bank manager] is the surprising finding of Sussex University’s Dunja Brill, whose doctorate in media and cultural studies looked at people with funny hair and eyeliner in London, Brighton and Cologne, and who is herself a former goth.

“Most youth subcultures encourage people to drop out of school and do illegal things,” she says. “Most goths are well educated, however. They hardly ever drop out and are often the best pupils. The subculture encourages interest in classical education, especially the arts. I’d say goths are more likely to make careers in web design, computer programming … even journalism.”

Actually, having been part of the gothic culture for over 15 years [I was exposed to, but not immersed, before that time], I don’t think these findings should be surprising at all.  Most of the younger goths I’ve encountered have been the intellectuals of their time, discussing classic literature and foreign film the way others their age discuss Family Guy or the latest Angelina Jolie movie – not that we never enjoy these things, of course; we’re all individuals with individual likes and dislikes.  Even I enjoy the latest offerings of reality TV while reading Oscar Wilde or Ernest Hemingway. 

Speaking with other Goth parents, I’m reassured that our kids aren’t the only good students sprouting from the dark soil of our culture.  I suspect it has almost as much to do with the philosophy of parenting as with the natural abilities of the kids.

Our friend David commented on our Facebook wall:

We expect [our daughter] to do well in school so that someday she can get into college and have a career. But, as I explained to her, that is so she can support herself and we don’t care what that career may be (although she is leaning toward engineering). We show both by words and actions that character, truthfulness, honor and being true to yourself are the most important things. Some people are obcessed with $ and I wonder how many today are training their daughters to marry a doctor or lawyer.

I hope we can agree that the happiness of an individual should define success more than the pricetag on their home or cars.

~sheila 

Spiders and bats and ballerinas. Oh my!

Welcome back to the tour.  We had company yesterday afternoon, plus two kids needing transportation to and from birthday parties.  I was able to photograph the new areas of our home, but didn’t find the time to guide you through.   

 As Scarlett O’Hara said, “Tomorrow is another day,” and well, here it is.    

Welcome back to our home. While last week, we showed you the initial entry way to our home, this week we will journey down ‘the hall’ to the kids’ rooms. Next week, Eric’s and my bedroom will be featured.    

(more…)

A Unique Marvel

Like many parents, we focus on report cards, conduct, manners, social skills, abilities… All the things we’ve learned make us good and successful people.  At the same time, we DO NOT judge the value of humans on their net worth or on the title attached to their profession [despite my fashion preferences, I do have the heart of a hippie].  We teach our kids that while being financially sucessful is not a bad thing, true success is determined by your happiness and the relationships you value, by measure of inner peace and character.

Sitting with the kids tonight, I asked them what they think makes a successful adult.  Ravynn stated “someone who is polite and speaks nicely to people,” while Whisper’s definition was “someone who is loving and kind.”  I was pleased that they are absorbing what I want to teach them and hope we continue along this road together. 

This advice from Thoreau sums up many of my hopes:

Each second we live is a new and unique moment of the universe, a moment that will never be again  And what do we teach our children? We teach them that two and two make four, and that Paris is the capital of France. When will we also teach them what they are?

We should say to each of them: Do you know what you are? You are a marvel. You are unique. In all the years that have passed, there has never been another child like you. Your legs, your arms, your clever fingers, the way you move. You may become a Shakespeare, a Michelangelo, a Beethoven. You have the capacity for anything.

If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away.

– Henry David Thoreau

I sit now, wondering how to teach someone WHAT THEY ARE.  Not easy, but I’m committed. At least to leading them to the path of discovery and allowing them to find the truth for themselves.

I hope to see more parents with the same concerns.

~sheila

Cold and Dark

Monday. First one in the new year. Kids back to school.  Grownups back to work. 

After we’d celebrated Yule in December and anticipated the days growing longer and after we’d gone to the grocery on Saturday in long sleeved shirts instead of winter coats, I was completely unprepared for how cold and dark it was at 7:30AM when the girls stepped out to wait for their buses.  I think I should have taken coffee with me.  I should have also taken coffee with me when Eric and I trekked across town on foot [really, it was only a few blocks] for a scheduled 9:00AM appointment in the courthouse only to find a note posted informing us that the courthouse is closed for observance of the NY holiday.

Grumble.

At least I had this gorgeous face waiting outside with me.

The cold walk back to the car instead of sitting down in a nice warm office got me thinking about yesterday’s post, though.  The ‘roll with the punches’ aspect of acclimating to the change around me.  As a DM, I’m responsible for many of them, but sometimes a player with throw a weird decision my way or a random question will throw me into a tangent of new creative options to test the players. 

Today, in the cold, I wondered about new creative options to test me.

We all become lazy and comfortable in the roles we build for ourselves: wife, mother, sister, friend, business owner. And shouldn’t we all want to be the best of them that we can?  Maybe we all need a random dice roll to move us in another direction?

I think I’ll try it.

~sheila

we were zombie

I’ve been away from posting for awhile [and feeling incredibly guilty about that].  Spring is always a very busy time for our family and leaves little time for extras.  These past few weeks, though, Eric has been working on a movie with a local director.  When a call went out for zombie extras, the rest of us couldn’t wait to be involved.

In Beverly Lane, Eric plays a redneck zombie killer who shows up to help a small office full of people deal with the Zombie Apocalypse.

Goofing off between scenes.

Alek and I were labeled as Featured Zombies and spent an extra few days on the set causing mayhem. Oh, and goofing off between scenes.

We’re coming to get your braiiiiiiiiiiiiiins!

The movie was also covered in the local paper this morning. The article “Zombies Take Over Local Scrap Yard,” features photos of Eric and of Ravynn and Whisper.  Sadly, I can’t figure out how to copy them out from the website [because they want us to buy them]…

Now that filming is done, I’m back to website re-creation.  Writing product description copy makes my head hurt.  More on that later 🙂

~sheila

Pink? Really?

Getting back into the habit of blogging is HARD.

Initially, I was away with several sick kids.  We spent the 18th celebrating the Pip’s birthday at a local Mexican place.  It was a great time. Despite Jordan having been home sick that day with a bad stomach ache, he was feeling better and in a party mood.  The other kids were chipper and didn’t even fight over who got to sit next to Mama.  We laughed and sang together as the servers helped the birthday girl enjoy her special dessert.

Unfortunately, about an hour after we got home, three of the kids were complaining of the same stomach ache Jordan had earlier.  No other symptoms – just a pain that on more than one occasion had them laying on the floor yelling out in pain.  It was heartbreaking. Throughout the next week, we had kids home from school; one on the first day; two on the second; one on the third; I even got called to school several days to bring meds or to bring home sick children. It was a mess.  But, we’re done.  Whisper, the lucky birthday girl, never did catch whatever it was.  YEAH!!

Even after the recovery, it was easy to just stay away and not look for witty and interesting topics to talk about.  Naughty.

Although, I’ve not had much time for sewing, I have taken steps toward a new sachet design. I’m researching a design to embroider on the front of the sachet and then need to work on the smelly mix for inside.  Quite a change from what I normally favor, I’m looking toward a more ‘girly’ pink and green palette for this new item.  Mostly because of the color significances to go along with the aromatherapy, but the girls suggested it was about time. I’m looking forward to cutting and stitching.

And I need need need to spend time formatting the new shopping cart we’re using for the website.  I have a HARD deadline of March 25 [and yes, I know how soon that is!] so the site is ready for showing off and [ahem!] pimping by April 2.  We have plans in the works that have great potential for more traffic.  And our customers must be happy.

You Love Me <3

Purplume, one of our regular commenters, has nominated us for the Happy 101 Blog Award 😉  I encourage you to go and check out her blog – I love reading it and would have nominated her, but… it can’t work that way.

Cool, no? Good friends give on to others. They share the love and wealth and cupcakes. And so, the rules for this privilege are to:

• Copy and display the award on one’s blog.
• List who gave me the award and link to their blog.
• List 10 things that make me happy.
• Pass the award on to other bloggers and visit their blog to let them know.

Let’s see, things that make me happy:

1. Eric, my love and partner in crime.  We’ve been together forever, but those hugs still fix what ails me.
2. The monsters [Jordan, Alek, Ravynn, & Whisper] and the music of their laughter.
3. Mail with stamps – cards, letters, invitations, postcards.
4. Crashing through a roadblock in my genealogy research or finding new-to-me old family photos.
5. Finishing a new product design and pattern and showing it off 🙂
6. Moose tracks ice cream on an almost hot summer day.
7. Exploring old cemeteries.
8. Snuggling under the blankets ALL DAY on a Saturday and watching movies I’ve already seen 100 times.
9. Knowing that, if only for a few minutes, all of the laundry in the house is clean, folded and put away.
10. Being able to drive with the windows open for the first time each spring.

And for the blogs, I nominate and recommend:

La Vida Dulce

Crush Mix Blend

Smarter than Pancakes

Mommy’ s Journey

Dollies, dresses, and blankies… oh my!

I have great plans for new items for Bats! meow… I also have great hope that the time I need to draft the patterns and sew some samples will just appear in my life.

First up are a couple of new dresses or, maybe skirt and top sets.  The way this usually works is I determine what my girls want and then sew for them.  If the design is a success [as determined by the ooos and aaahs of the 6- and 7-years old girls  in the house and in the neighborhood], we’ll photograph, do the price workups [cost versus profit], create the web listing, and work on alternate size options – not necessarily in that order.

Next up are a set of rag dolls.  Or something of that nature.  I’m super excited about this.  When I was a little girl, all of my baby dolls [and I had a LOT of baby dolls with ALL the accessories] were little blonde things with bobbed hair.  They didn’t look anything like their mama.  Even the baby dolls in our house are 90% blondes. I do believe it’s time to expand the market to include more of the ‘looks like me’ variety.  Of course, there is more in the plans than just brown hair and grey eyes.  I’ll share more as soon as something has been sewn and stuffed. I’m really looking forward to this!

Finally, I want to incorporate my love of quilting into our designs.  More housewares, some quilts for babies, even some pillows for bigger kids and adults.  But not just any design will do – we’ll need something special, so more designing on real life graph paper.

So much to do.  Such great plans.  But time, again, is the enemy.

~sheila

wednesday wednesday

On the table in the sewing studio are the parts for one of the cutest girls dresses I’ve had the pleasure to design: The Wednesday dress.  Just like Wednesday Addams. It’s a goth favorite.

I made one for Ravynn when she was 2. She wore it until Whisper grew into it and Whisper wore it until she couldn’t. Now, that very dress is hanging in my fabric storage closest ready to be pulled out and used for inspiration.  When I feel my energy level slipping or when I’ve clearly overloaded my schedule and simply need the reminder that “Your children love what you do and who you are.  Carry on Mum,” I hold it in my hands and I feel stronger, better, more determined.

I want to sew for the girls [and the boys], but I have pending orders [note the Wednesday dress I just mentioned] to finish and ship.  I also have website updates to finish and discuss with my designer.  There are minor updates needed to Etsy and ArtFire.  And I have sketches for more designs  that I desperately want to mock up a pattern of and get ready to promote.

But first things first, so tomorrow I will complete the dress.

Maybe after that, I’ll photograph the sewing studio to share with my bloggy friends.

Remember the Time

Yesterday was a day of remembering.  And the thing is, I didn’t realize until I was outside with Ravynn and Whisper this morning while they waited for the bus.

The day started with a drive out to Camp Chesterfield for the tea reading seminar.  I’ve never read tea leaves, but I really want to!  So, I’m hunting for loose tea through a couple of websites that were suggested by friends.  I’ve spent some time looking at Stash Tea and Special Teas is next! I’m also hunting down tea cups with plain white interiors on Ebay. I’ve found I set that I like and I’m waiting for an answer from the seller about the inside.

There wasn’t a great depth of information provided at the seminar, but there was enough that I’ll feel comfortable giving it a go once I have everything I need.  The process for the readings is fairly simple:

• Brew a HOT pot of tea with loose tea
• Pour a cup
• Drink most of it.  Sipping the tea will allow your aura to infuse with the tea and will give a proper reading.
• When the tea is mostly gone and there are dregs showing in the bottom, hold the cup in your left hand and swirl it three times.
• Place the saucer upside down over the cup and flip it all together and all at once, so the cup is sitting upside down on the saucer [which is right-side up].
• Turn the cup three times and end it with the handle facing you/the reader.
• Lift the cup and explore the patterns left by the leaves.

The suggestion was to use a cup with a white interior so the leaves are easier to see.  Patterns on the left of the cup indicate the past; patterns near the rim indicate the present/near future.  Dark leaves indicate a man; light leaves indicate a woman.

I need to do more research to learn the meaning of specific symbols. I’d hoped the class would touch on that more, but it didn’t.

What the class did focus on was the importance of drinking tea for health – both physical and emotional.  The mention of tea parties for children brought back lovely memories of sitting in the living room at my grandmother’s home with my Aunt Lois.  She drank tea ALL the time and made cups for my sisters and I when we went to visit – which was quite often as we were lucky enough to live across the street.  We sat and drank tea while we watched Grandma crochet or put together puzzles.

Grandma Rounds

Aunt Lois taught us to embroider and let us help her with projects. Now I have to wonder exactly how much help we were 🙂  The tea seminar really reminded me of those days, which was nice.  We lost Grandma in 1979 and lost Aunt Lois in the summer of 2008.  I always think of them when I have a strong black tea.  I will continue to do so.

After we came  home, we had bags of loot to sort – BAGS.  I attempted to take photos in order to share the before and after [as many of these items will become one-of-a-kind items for Bats! meow…] but I hit some strange combination of buttons on my camera which changed the options to Black & White photos.  You really need to see the color on these! So after I call customer service and get that straightened out, I’ll be able to share!  As we were digging through the old costumes, we checked the tags and waistbands for the ever-present name in Sharpie ink that told us who they used to belong to.  Some of these clothes belonged to girls who were smaller than Ravynn and Whisper when we met them.  Eric and I started working with the studio in 1988, when he was a college freshman. We entertained the kids for hours with stories of when their ballet teachers were little and with descriptions of past choreography.

The evening ended with the Grammys.  Normally, we skip them.  This year,  however, Whisper had begged us for days to pick up 3D glasses at Target and we were ready for the Michael Jackson tribute.  I was pleased that they were broadcasting expected air times for performances as the show progressed.  10pm…  almost two hours past the girls’ bedtime and an hour past the boys’.  With a quick reminder that they’d have to get up for school with NO complaints, we agreed to let them stay up. I joked on my personal Facebook profile that I was ‘the worst mother ever,’ but I’m glad we made the decision we did. Instead of watching covers of his more successful songs, we were treated to a celebration of his humanitarian efforts. I cried. I did.  Whisper did too.  She didn’t know who he was prior to his passing, but has since become his biggest fan – even asking for an MJ birthday party in February.  Because of her tears, she snuggled up onto my lap and sat for a few extra minutes and was treated to seeing his two oldest children accept an award on his behalf.  Children should not lose their parents so young.  Everyone felt that.

This morning the girls hopped out of bed while the boys dragged their way through the morning [much like mama!] and I treated them to some music during breakfast.  We listened to Michael because his CD was in the CD player.  As we waiting outside for the bus, Whisper looked up at me and said, “The next time I hear ,Remember the Time,’ I’m going to dance because it’s good to remember and we should be happy when we remember love.”

Remember. And dance.

~sheila