Bats! meow…

Posts Tagged ‘alek’

Oh Canada

If you know us, have seen our Wife Swap episode, or have seen any of our Facebook pages, you know that dance [and the arts in general] play a huge role in our lives. All of the kids have studied ballet; most of them added tap; the boys studied modern and jazz. Jordan dropped classes when he turned 13, but was happy to rejoin the cast of the Nutcracker this past year as my partner, “Party Dad – Family One.” Alek, though, has really taken an interest and I’m excited about the opportunities that are opening up for him.

Last spring, he spent a week in Pittsburgh with Regional Dance America and had a great time. While he’s been fortunate to study with great teachers, his exposure to other dancers [outside of his company] is limited.  Pittsburh brought new teachers and classes with other male dancers – something I think he can greatly benefit from.

This year, an opportunity for a week-long trip to Montreal, Canada was presented.  Also with RDA, this was a national festival unlike the regional festival in Pittsburgh.  He had a lot of new experiences with this trip: rerouted planes, lost luggage, foreign currency and exchange rates, and choices between tours of the city and a men’s class with a well-respected teacher from France.  He chose the class; I would have chosen the tour, but my absolute love for Montreal is not undocumented.

A Dark Future

Several years ago, I read the article “I have seen the future – and it’s goth,” written by Dave Simpson and published in the Guardian, 21 March 2006. With his impressive Googling skills, Alek helped me find it again a couple days ago. I’d mentionned the findings reported in it to a friend on Facebook and thought it might interest out other readers.

When other adults question us allowing our children to be exposed to a goth lifestyle [and they do], we know we don’t share their worries.

That [parents of goths will probably end up boasting about their son/daughter the doctor, lawyer or bank manager] is the surprising finding of Sussex University’s Dunja Brill, whose doctorate in media and cultural studies looked at people with funny hair and eyeliner in London, Brighton and Cologne, and who is herself a former goth.

“Most youth subcultures encourage people to drop out of school and do illegal things,” she says. “Most goths are well educated, however. They hardly ever drop out and are often the best pupils. The subculture encourages interest in classical education, especially the arts. I’d say goths are more likely to make careers in web design, computer programming … even journalism.”

Actually, having been part of the gothic culture for over 15 years [I was exposed to, but not immersed, before that time], I don’t think these findings should be surprising at all.  Most of the younger goths I’ve encountered have been the intellectuals of their time, discussing classic literature and foreign film the way others their age discuss Family Guy or the latest Angelina Jolie movie – not that we never enjoy these things, of course; we’re all individuals with individual likes and dislikes.  Even I enjoy the latest offerings of reality TV while reading Oscar Wilde or Ernest Hemingway. 

Speaking with other Goth parents, I’m reassured that our kids aren’t the only good students sprouting from the dark soil of our culture.  I suspect it has almost as much to do with the philosophy of parenting as with the natural abilities of the kids.

Our friend David commented on our Facebook wall:

We expect [our daughter] to do well in school so that someday she can get into college and have a career. But, as I explained to her, that is so she can support herself and we don’t care what that career may be (although she is leaning toward engineering). We show both by words and actions that character, truthfulness, honor and being true to yourself are the most important things. Some people are obcessed with $ and I wonder how many today are training their daughters to marry a doctor or lawyer.

I hope we can agree that the happiness of an individual should define success more than the pricetag on their home or cars.

~sheila 

Spiders and bats and ballerinas. Oh my!

Welcome back to the tour.  We had company yesterday afternoon, plus two kids needing transportation to and from birthday parties.  I was able to photograph the new areas of our home, but didn’t find the time to guide you through.   

 As Scarlett O’Hara said, “Tomorrow is another day,” and well, here it is.    

Welcome back to our home. While last week, we showed you the initial entry way to our home, this week we will journey down ‘the hall’ to the kids’ rooms. Next week, Eric’s and my bedroom will be featured.    

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Embrace

Our family isn’t typical…

My boys dance.  Eric guest performs. Jordan studied for 7 years. Alek still does. Most recently, he appeared as Harlequin in our local production of the Nutcracker.  He’s very talented and we’re very proud of him. They began dancing when they were 4 and have worked hard at one of the best studios in the Midwest.  When Ravynn turned 4, the boys came to me concerned. She wanted to take ballet, too, but they worried that it was only for boys [never mind that their classes had always been full of girls].  They were incredibly pleased when we bought a tiny pair of pink ballet shoes.  It wasn’t until a minor incident in 4th grade when they felt the bullying effects of being different.  A very kind teacher explained what exactly was the problem with the phrase ‘ballerina boy’ and it mostly ended. There are still comments flung around, but Alek who’s 12 and in 7th grade is strong and ignores them. 

Our family is goth.  Locally, we’re semi-famous for it, but you may have noticed from other comments or photos or even the About page associated with this blog.  Eric and I embrace being different, but each of the kids have at points heard rumors or fielded snotty comments based on how we look or dress.  It’s a great opportunity to talk to them about stereotypes and prejudice and about not having to conform to make other people happy.  For the most part they get it, but I understand [having been a 10 year old girl once upon a time] that there is still a sting involved.  I hate that.  At the same time they love when their friends think we’re cool because of the way we dress or the music we listen to.  I kinda like being famous at the elementary school, but not to the detriment of my kids.

When I read news stories about bullied kids or hear about it from fellow moms, my heart aches.  No child should have an unhappy childhood.  I mean there are some situations that cannot be avoided and the pain of them cannot be minimized, but… if the pain is caused by other kids or adults being hateful and unaccepting.  Well, the simple fact is that should be easy to change.

Several weeks ago, a Facebook post brought my attention to the blog, Portrait of an Adoption. Young Katie was being teased for wanting to carry a Star Wars water bottle to school.  Three cheers for social networking.  Geek Girls came out in force to support Katie. As I understand, Geeks, Nerds, and Dorks all came out to support her and give her strength.  I think this is awesome!  It’s what I’ve tried to teach my own kids.  Differences should be Celebrated. Sometimes they are, as with Katie’s situation.

Checking on Portrait of an Adoption, I read the story of author Cheryl Kilodavis and her book My Princess Boy. Her website explains it as:

My Princess Boy is a nonfiction picture book about acceptance. It tells the tale of a 4-year-old boy who happily expresses his authentic self by enjoying “traditional girl” things like jewelry, sparkles or anything pink. It is designed to start and continue a dialogue about unconditional friendship and teaches children — and adults — how to accept and support children for who they are and how they wish to look.

The response she is getting isn’t near as positive as Katie’s mother found for her.  Now, it isn’t all negative and maybe I”m experiencing emotional reactions to the negative comments that I do see.  I’ve been in the same place. People have, over the years, explained to me that it’s not ‘normal’ for boys to study dance or to have long hair [Eric does and Alek did until he cut and donated it in the summer of 2009]; I’ve been told that it’s not normal for them to do these things because society believes them to be ‘for girls’.  Somehow along the line it became acceptable for girls to want to do ‘boy things’, yet not for boys to want to do ‘girl things’.  I suggest we let kids do kid things and leave it at that.

I’ve fought the good fight for my kids. Cheryl is fighting for hers.

I encourage you to honor acceptance for everyone and embrace diversity in your own life today.

Unexpected

Alek went on a run today.  Dance is back in session, but he has Tuesdays and Wednesdays off this semester, so he wanted to fit in some additional exercise.  He was gone less time than usual for a run, but longer than I would have been in 26 degree weather when he came into the house alerting us that there was an owl in the neighborhood.  Now, we don’t live in – or even near - a big city, but we’re firmly in a suburban area.  I’ve seen turkey vultures, a deer, a pig, and many many bats, but never an owl.  The other kids and I threw on shoes and hoodies, grabbed the camera, and headed down the street to check it out.

The girls and I had seen an owl demo at the PowWow last October, but we were still excited to see this tiny creature [Alek had called it a baby].  When we arrived at the neighbors yard, Alek pointed and smiled.  It took the rest of us a while to find the wee thing – Bravo to its cloaking skills! 

Wow. 

It’s all I could say.  Jordan asked why I was so amazed and I laughed.  Why wouldn’t I be?? 

• I expect owls to come out at night, yet it was day.
• I expect owls to dislike the cold, yet here it is the middle of winter.
• I expect owls in the wilderness, yet we were in town.

So much joy from the unexpected.  Even being someone who loathes surprises of any nature, this was a wonderful bright spot in the day and left us wishing for a new surprise tomorrow. The potential impact was not unnoticed.  Mentally, I wagged a finger at myself.

We could all benefit much from delivering the unexpected. Most of us, I believe, settle into the ‘normal’ and the comfortable in many areas of our life.  Family friends, business… emotional, physical, mental.  The forces around us urge movement and perhaps even chaos, but we resist, wishing to be rocked like infants into a comfortable state. 

We must work towards new ‘unbelievable’ events by surprising our relationships in a new way.    We must. The owl has decreed it.

What unexpected things can you bring to your own life to better yourself, your loved ones, or even strangers you come in contact with?  I’m putting this into practice beginning immediately – focusing on Bats! meow… and on my intimate family relationships.

I urge you to look for your own owls.

~sheila

Rainy Days are Made for Reading

And I have a couple rainy days in my future – at least that’s what the weather man tells me.  So while Alek was at dance and Jordan was at a Teen Advisory Board meeting, I scoured the library for interesting books.  I found four with varying levels of promise.  All about the goth community.  I hope to spend some time reading over the next few days and promise to share my thoughts and ideas with you all.

Circumstances in my life indicate I’ll be spending a lot of time in the near future explaining exactly what it does and does not mean to be goth.  I want to know what folks are saying

For now, enjoy the rainbows   We ran into these on the drive to the grocery after the Egg Hunt on Saturday.  Luckily Eric was driving and I could aim the camera out  the window!

~ sheila

we were zombie

I’ve been away from posting for awhile [and feeling incredibly guilty about that].  Spring is always a very busy time for our family and leaves little time for extras.  These past few weeks, though, Eric has been working on a movie with a local director.  When a call went out for zombie extras, the rest of us couldn’t wait to be involved.

In Beverly Lane, Eric plays a redneck zombie killer who shows up to help a small office full of people deal with the Zombie Apocalypse.

Goofing off between scenes.

Alek and I were labeled as Featured Zombies and spent an extra few days on the set causing mayhem. Oh, and goofing off between scenes.

We’re coming to get your braiiiiiiiiiiiiiins!

The movie was also covered in the local paper this morning. The article “Zombies Take Over Local Scrap Yard,” features photos of Eric and of Ravynn and Whisper.  Sadly, I can’t figure out how to copy them out from the website [because they want us to buy them]…

Now that filming is done, I’m back to website re-creation.  Writing product description copy makes my head hurt.  More on that later

~sheila

You Love Me <3

Purplume, one of our regular commenters, has nominated us for the Happy 101 Blog Award   I encourage you to go and check out her blog – I love reading it and would have nominated her, but… it can’t work that way.

Cool, no? Good friends give on to others. They share the love and wealth and cupcakes. And so, the rules for this privilege are to:

• Copy and display the award on one’s blog.
• List who gave me the award and link to their blog.
• List 10 things that make me happy.
• Pass the award on to other bloggers and visit their blog to let them know.

Let’s see, things that make me happy:

1. Eric, my love and partner in crime.  We’ve been together forever, but those hugs still fix what ails me.
2. The monsters [Jordan, Alek, Ravynn, & Whisper] and the music of their laughter.
3. Mail with stamps – cards, letters, invitations, postcards.
4. Crashing through a roadblock in my genealogy research or finding new-to-me old family photos.
5. Finishing a new product design and pattern and showing it off
6. Moose tracks ice cream on an almost hot summer day.
7. Exploring old cemeteries.
8. Snuggling under the blankets ALL DAY on a Saturday and watching movies I’ve already seen 100 times.
9. Knowing that, if only for a few minutes, all of the laundry in the house is clean, folded and put away.
10. Being able to drive with the windows open for the first time each spring.

And for the blogs, I nominate and recommend:

La Vida Dulce

Crush Mix Blend

Smarter than Pancakes

Mommy’ s Journey

Movies in the Dark

Today has been a busy day. A very busy day.

While I was able to sleep in some [and planned to do it], I slept much too long and had to rush to get Alek to dance class on time.  He’s a drop-and-go kid, so after the quick drive over, I ran back home. I should have gone straight to the sewing studio and got to work, but I planned on a relaxing late afternoon. So I sat down and watched a couple episodes of a cartoon I really dislike with the other kids.  Before I knew it, it was time to head back to pick him up. Woops!

It should have been another quick trip over and back, but I think Alek stopped to talk to every last person in the building before coming out to the car.  His social nature isn’t usually a problem to our schedule, but I didn’t work that many extra minutes into the morning.  Back home and it was time to wake up Eric for another drive back to the dance studio. Somewhere in the hour that I was at home, I started to wonder about myself.  Aren’t Saturdays supposed to be quiet?

Maybe they are, but today we were helpers.  The studio where the kids take classes had scheduled a cleaning day for the props and costumes room.  Ravynn’s teacher had asked me on Tuesday to come and help out and I talked Eric into joining me.  Alek, because he is moving on up in the class hierarchy, decided he should go and help too. Besides, there was the promise of picking up discarded loot.

The session was scheduled from 1-4.  We arrived about 20 minutes early and worked hard. My phone rang a couple times while the kids checked in from home, but it was early.  When we stopped long enough for a rest and to gather our finds into a neat bundle that was out of the way, I checked my phone for the time – almost 5!  So we said our goodbyes and headed home.  Within the next few days, I’ll try to photograph some of the wonderful items we picked up.  Eric will use them in his paintings and I’ll use them in one-of-a-kind fashion designs.  Alek even got some fun things for himself.

When I got  home, I realized that three of us hadn’t had lunch yet and it was time for dinner.

I kind of copped out on cooking for the kids and made fish planks, a box of microwave noodles with cheese sauce, and canned peas.  I desperately need to go to the grocery, so I had to get creative for Eric and I.  I sat down with my BH&G cookbook and started flipping through pages, determined to make the first thing I had all the ingredients for.  It could have gone bad. Luckily, this cookbook starts with an appetizer section.  I was overjoyed to find out I could make Coconut Shrimp -and- that they were easy and low-fat.  Ravynn and I went to work while the fish baked. I really like cooking with her and it appears she likes cooking with her mama too.

After dinner, we sat down to watch a documentary from the History channel about death masks. I was amazed by how interested the kids were, but also happy that it led to some interesting conversations about President Lincoln, Napoleon, and John Dillinger.  Just another reminder that MY KIDS ARE AWESOME!  After that, the boys asked for a movie, so we had them pick - Zombies Anonymous was their choice.  It was a decent movie, but nothing I’ll watch everyday.  I liked the angle they took on the zombie/human relationship.

The boys retreated to their room for another movie while the girls asked if they could stay up. Sure, but we need to turn off all the lights so it’s spooky   Agreed. Someone chose the movie P2, which stars the movie-making kid from American Beauty.  Whisper zonked on the sofa about half an hour in, but Ravynn is loving this movie.  She’s our little night owl and is very proud of that fact. This movie is much better, but has had one or two questionable scenes/events.  I can forgive them; it’s tying together pretty well.  We’ll see how it ends.

Despite the fact that I’ve accomplished nothing, it’s been a really good day.  I hope for more just like it in the future.

~sheila