Since our family appeared on the April 30, 2010 episide of Wife Swap, I’ve fielded many questions about our home – most focussing on “What does it REALLY look like?” It seems the perception from the general public is that we gothed it up for the show. Not the case. If anything, it lost some of it’s personality during filming. Much of the art and decorations we have didn’t get media clearance and had to be pulled down and stuck in the den or the garage until the cameras were shut off for the last time. It has been my intent since that time to offer a photo tour of the house, but I just never got around to it.
**Actually I did get around to starting, but never finished 🙁 This is the first of two posts that appeared back in January 2011. I’m reposting them in order to revive that feature.
Naughty, Sheila.
For the next several weeks, I will invite you to explore a new area of the house. This will give me time to photograph each part adequately, but will also save you from sifting through a million photos in each sitting. That does get old and, depending on your internet connection, could become really tedious.
PART 1: Welcome to the Schroeders
Friends at the front door welcome guests. Come on in.
I spent yesterday cleaning the house and getting ready for a special guest. This meant cleaning out my sewing room, moving furniture, packing and repacking, reorganizing. It was a lot of work, but I had helpers. At one point in the day, after the Pink CD I was listening to ended, I heard Ravynn bopping through the house singing some lyrics I wasn’t familiar with. I asked her was song it was and who sang it. Katy Perry and she didn’t know the title, but she sang a little more of it for me.
Now, I’m not a huge Katy Perry fan. I’d really hardly be considered a fan at all, but I do like the catchy tunes of a few of her songs [particularly California Girls 😉 ]. These lyrics struck me.
This is the part of me that you’re never gonna ever take away from me This is the part of me that you’re never gonna ever take away from me Throw your sticks and stones Throw your bombs and your blows But you’re not gonna break my soul This is the part of me that you’re never gonna ever take away from me
As I listened to Ravynn sing, I wondered what was the part of ME that no one can ever take away. What is it that defines who I am and that cannot be separated from who I am?
I encourage you to find that part of you – and to nurture it.
Sunday, Jordan and I went over to Edgewood Country Club for their Walking Man/Fourth of July celebration. He was very patient while I took his picture. Love the hair!
50/365
Too hot for anything. Really temps nearing 102 with no real rain for days 🙁 Staying inside watching Heroes.
51/365
STILL too hot. Sitting in front of a fan, feet up, sipping iced tea, and working on upcoming blog posts. Not so much beating the heat, but functioning in spite of it.
52/365
Our friend Tim has a sick little girl who is facing some special challenges today. We lit a candle for her.
53/365
Dear Leinenkugel family. I love you.
54/365
The girls are home!! And are very happy about it. Almost as happy as mama.
The kids [all four of them] started dancing when they were 3, because we have a love and respect for the arts. Eric and I both danced with the local dance company when were in college as extras in the Nutcracker ballet and promised way back when that when we had children we would give them the gift of dance. When the first two kids were boys, that didn’t stop us. Despite the feedback we’ve gotten from friends and strangers, we encouraged them. For a while, we restricted the input the kids had in the matter, deciding that it was our decision until they reached a certain age.
When Jordan was 12, he decided that he was done. Thankfully, I talked him back into a role as an extra in last year’s Nutcracker ballet. His Wife Swap mom would have been horrified [that pleases me]. When Alek was 11, he had to do some thinking. That same Wife Swap mom was encouraging him to walk away. He may have entertained that idea, but was reminded that at that age he wasn’t free to make that decision. Sometime within the next year, he decided to kick his study into gear and made some progress – enough that last December the opportunity was presented to audition for a summer intensive in Houston. He did. He was accepted. He returned on Saturday – a very exciting day for this mama. I haven’t had a chance to see him dance, but I’ve heard of the exciting progress he’s made during these classes.
Despite our love of the arts and our kids’ interest in dance, we’ve had to defend this decision more than any parent should. Seriously, we appreciate the arts and we prefer to encourage the kids toward dance, art, and music – just like other parents would encourage their kids toward sports. Do the same people question them? Probably not. As if “we’re the parents and we make that decision” isn’t enough, we have also seen several research studies that cite the effect of dance on education and test scores.
At Suite101, Anna Mayer writes, “Studies show that dance in school leads to high grades and SAT scores. Dance lessons increase mental skill and deepen kids’ understanding of other subjects.” She notes a documented effect of dance instruction on reading skills, SAT scores, and GPA [in one study, the dancers’ overall Grade Point Average was 3.22, while the non-dancer group averaged a 2.87].
Chapter 4/Gothic Fashion: Fashion is an important aspect of Goth culture. Just as many other people in the world, Goths use fashion, hairstyle, and makeup to express themselves. Lady Gaga certainly does and I’m not sure anyone would accuse her of being Goth. 🙂
While there are some styles that tend to identify someone as Goth, I know many goths who were little other than jeans and black t-shirts. I’m personally most comfortable in long skirts and t-shirts. The husband is most comfortable in a complete outfit, styled head to toe, in a manner that will make him stand out. He’s known for it. Neither Jordan or Alek really embrace the fashion of the culture. Jordan does wear primarily black tshirts and jeans, but I can’t tell you that is a conscious decision or for any reason other than it’s what he likes. Alek wears bright colors – basketball shorts and tshirts, or dress shirts and khakis. Ravynn and Whisper like pretty clothes in any color. They do like a lot of black, but they’re little girls so pink and baby blue show up in their choices a lot. As far as we’re concerned, I believe that whatever in us determines our fashion choices, its’ the same thing that draws us to the Goth culture. Maybe. It’s just a theory.
Acker lists several items common to Goth fashion:
Black or dark-colored velvet skirts, dresses, and vests
Doc Martens or combat boots
White poet’s shirts
Rubber, leather, or vinyl gear
Corsets
Pagan or Christian jewelry
Buckles, pointy shoes, and ripped fishnets
I see so much more than that, but it’s not a bad list. It’s also not bad [although slightly obvious] tha black is the color of choice for goth-minded folks. You’ll notice, though, that Eric isn’t afraid of a splash [or more] of color in his outfits. The author also spends a lot of time discussing the ways that MANY Goths wear their hair or the MANY kids of jewelry MANY of them wear. Really, some experiment with hairstyles and some wear a lot of jewelry.
Chapter 5/Gothic Music, Literature, and Film: The main part of the book conclude with lists of popular music, literature, and film. The book is 12 years old, so none of these are current lists. I suggest you Google up the lists or just ask.
There is more to be learned from just talking to people than from reading. While the book doesn’t offer wrong information, the way some of it is presented is misleading.
I noticed the other day that I often refer to something as “one of my favorite xxx ever.” At a certain point, I realized I must have 100 favorite movies and even more favorite songs. So, I challenged myself to make definitive lists of my top tens as an exercise in creative thinking.
Today, I offer you My Top Ten Movies.
Reservoir Dogs
What’s not to love? Tarantino. Keitel. Either one of those is enough, but both together… Awesome! Best. Movie. Ever.
Full Metal Jacket
The movie most people remember from my senior year in high school is Top Gun, which was a fine movie, but this one… I’ve seen it so many times and it just keeps getting better.
Natural Born Killers
A true chick flick. Mickey Knox, I think I love you.
Apocalypse Now
Craaaaaaaaaaazy Marlon Brando. The man is genius.
Moulin Rouge
So. I hate musicals. Hate them. Can’t make it through the first song – with rare exception. This is an exception.
Practical Magic
I want this life.
Romance
I love everything from Catherine Breillat. Everything. But I love this most.
Picnic
I saw this movie the first time with my Daddy. I think he was more than a little concerned about my fascination with the anti-hero… He should have been.
Peter Pan
Love the book. Love the story. Love this adaptation.
?? [A movie I don’t know the name of]
Yeah… So also with my father, I watched a movie about a civil war unit. At least part of it focussed on the drummer boys who were following the soldiers. I watched it as a child, so pre-1983 probably.
I grew up in an extended family: mother, father, me, two sisters, my father’s father, and my mother’s sister. Grandpa lived with my parents before I was born and that didn’t change after we girls came along. My mother’s sister had always lived with their mother and, when my grandmother died, my father invited my aunt to live with us. It wasn’t a big house and it was full to the brim with people: four adults, three kids.
As I grew up there weren’t many opportunities for me to be alone. I shared a room with my two sisters until my dad built a second floor when I was 16 and we each got our own rooms. My mother didn’t work after I was born, so I expected her to be home. Most of the time she was. When I was very young, obviously I couldn’t stay alone. When I became older and was old enough to be at home without my mother, my Grandfather was sick and it wasn’t advisable for me to be home without her. My Grandfather passed when I was 13 and in the 8th grade and I was suddenly able to be home ‘alone’, but alone is hard to come by when you’re part of a family of seven. Most likely someone will always be at home with you or will be coming home shortly.
In college I most always had a roommate, but if they were out, I could be found in the lobby watching TV or talking to whoever was around.
When Eric and I got married and there were only two of us to fill our home, it was much easier to be alone and I resisted it. I’d go to the grocery with him. We worked together, so we kept the same hours. After the kids started coming and our two grew to three, then four, then five, and finally six, it was difficult to find time alone. I like it that way.
I like it a lot.
Unfortunately as the kids get older, they have more opportunities to try new things. Well, the opportunities are good, but the time away from home is difficult. Alek spent three weeks at the Houston Ballet in a summer intensive program. That was hard for me and I only stopped fussing when he was only three days shy of coming back. During that time, Eric’s mom invited the girls to come up and spend a week with her. Now, I never had the opportunity to “spend a week with Grandma.” She lived right across the street, so that would have been silly. All of my family [mostly] was in town, so we didn’t run off visiting. I just don’t get it. But the kids enjoy it, so we send them.
One of my friends at work asked me, while I was experiencing life as the mother of one, how I was feeling about my empty nest. I disliked it. My boss overheard and reminded me that in two years, I’d have one heading off to college. You can imagine the look he got. But even I had to admit I can see the nervous breakdown coming. I suggest I start hoarding litter boxes now for when I become the crazy cat lady.
But, other than the boys making a quick trip to Grandma’s and maybe Jordan heading to Pittsburgh for a stint in manual labor/babysitting, we’re all home for the rest of the season. I think I’ll be okay.
It reminds me though, that Goths are supposed to be morose and sad and resist human interaction. Not this one.
Chapter 2/Gothic Philosophy: Sigh. I think the final thought in Chapter 1 would suffice. Acknowledging both the good and bad of human nature and the world in order to fully appreciate both. Then there is a shift to suggesting that Goths focus on the dark and the bad and place emphasis on suffering, sorrow, fear, and death. While I do picnic in cemeteries [we have one scheduled for July 29th – see our Facebook page for details], I don’t focus on any of those things. I don’t mean to suggest that my experience is shared by everyone, but I do mean to suggest that acknowledging the darker things does not necessarily equate to a focus on them. It’s just so different from the experience of “normal” people that it might look like a focus. I don’t know. I’m still trying to figure out the angle of this book.
Knowing more about the author than “is a freelance writer” would help a lot. Either they [Kerry could be either male or female] are Goth and trying to honestly explain the culture, but are doing it poorly, or they are not Goth and writing a resource book with a poor understanding of the culture. Even still, maybe an editor made a mess of a perfect book. The world may never know.
Dictionary.com defines Philosophy as:
1. the rational investigation of the truths and principles of being, knowledge, or conduct.
2. any of the three branches, namely natural philosophy, moral philosophy, and metaphysical philosophy, that are accepted as composing this study.
3. a system of philosophical doctrine: the philosophy of Spinoza.
4. the critical study of the basic principles and concepts of a particular branch of knowledge, especially with a view to improving or reconstituting them: the philosophy of science.
5. a system of principles for guidance in practical affairs.
6. a philosophical attitude, as one of composure and calm in the presence of troubles or annoyances.
None of those seem appropriate – at all; however, Dictionary.com defines aesthetic as: having a sense of the beautiful; characterized by a love of beauty. BINGO!
The “Who are Goths?” section of this chapter states, “followers of the Goth aesthetic include people of different ages, sensibilites, religions, politics, and careers… Goths are a group of people with broad interests such as history, literature, music, mythology, and fashion.” Good. True. But sadly, the rest of the book attempts to force goths into little boxes in order for it to truly be understood. I’m not sure this is intentional. I suspect the author is attempting to bring light [haha] to the darker aspects and forgets to mention that this isn’t ALL there is. An attraction to darkness can attract people to Goth culture – really, not everyone “gets it,” but we do appreciate the things that non-Goths do as well. This book seems to try to force a separation where one is not necessary and every chapter includes a warning to look for signs for violence and depression.
Christopher Lee as Dracula
A picture of Dracula [not the one I chose because I’m more of a Christopher Lee fan] holds the caption, “Many Goths are fascinated with the mystery of death and the occult,” BUT MANY ARE NOT. I’m sure that reminder would become annoying and overhelming, but it’s so necessary.
Chapter 2/Gothic Lifestyle: An overview of humans in general… A wide range of interests [including music, fashion, other hobbies enjoyed alone or in a group], the opportunity to experiment with sexuality [specifically with gender roles], and interest in different religions [or in no religion, although the focus here is in Paganism and Vampirism, with a note on Christianity].
After reviewing the aspects of the Gothic Lifestyle presented and noting the points made which are 90% pointing out how different Goths are from most of the people in the world, Acker warns us about subscribing to stereotypes.
Perhaps I am just thin-skinned on this topic. I show people the similarities between them and me and then let them notice the differences. One of the girls I work with says all the time, “You’re just a normal person. Why are people so freaked out by you?”
How exciting to return home after a particularly brutal day at work to find a package from California. Flat Sapphire [Ravynn’s Flat person] had been on a several week trip to Lake Elsinore, California where they spent time with Lauren and Nicholas. She came home with a lot of gifts for the girls, which were incredibly appreciated. We tried to get photos of them all, but realize we forgot to photograph the CD-R of Sapphire’s Travel Journal. That was a great addition that we look forward to sharing with you.
Included in the packet with the journal were two really cool tshirts with tarantulas and and animal footprints decorating them, two pair of sunnies [Ravynn is modeling them in the photo with Sapphire], a flash drive, frisbee, and a lot of postcards and travel magazines/books. The girls are really excited to dive into them.
Goodies!
We tried to copy some of the pictures from the journal into this post, but I’m not that adept at working with PDF files. And I don’t want to insert the whole thing as there are pictures of minors who aren’t mine.
Suffice it to say that this Flat Sapphire trip was an overwhelming success 🙂
I’m really loving this project. Now, if I could just get to work on the Day In The Life photo project.
WEEK 7, YEAR 1
Sunday, the girls took some quiet time at home to work on the math projects they requested over the summer. No, really. Ravynn is 10 and is heading into 6th grade. She’s reviewing pre-Algebra and wants to learn Algebra when she’d ready. I see that happening in August. 🙂
42/365
Blessed Midsummer! Our ritual table.
43/365
The girls have gone nailpolish CRAZY! I caught them on ‘home spa’ day.
44/365
Ravynn was a dear and rubbed my feet after an especially long day. She’s dreaming up some secret plans at the same time.
45/365
Whisper with Big Girl hair after her shower. She’s always so proud when she gets it wrapped [mostly] right.
46/365
My girls are spending a week with Grandma. I do not love this, but I’m not as crazy this year as I have been in the past. Being a mom of 1 [Alek is off in Houston still] has been weird, but I’ve been able to hang out with Jordan a little more.
47/365
Friday, the world tried to fall apart. Three trees down in the neighborhood; one on a tree [this one], one on a power line, and one [behind the house you see here] on a house which started a fire. Thankfully power wasn’t out for long and the cleanup went quickly.
Since our family appeared on the April 30, 2010 episide of Wife Swap, I’ve fielded many questions about our home – most focussing on “What does it REALLY look like?” It seems the perception from the general public is that we gothed it up for the show. Not the case. If anything, it lost some of it’s personality during filming. Much of the art and decorations we have didn’t get media clearance and had to be pulled down and stuck in the den or the garage until the cameras were shut off for the last time. It has been my intent since that time to offer a photo tour of the house, but I just never got around to it.
Acker lists several items common to Goth fashion:
One of my friends at work asked me, while I was experiencing life as the mother of one, how I was feeling about my empty nest. I disliked it. My boss overheard and reminded me that in two years, I’d have one heading off to college. You can imagine the look he got. But even I had to admit I can see the nervous breakdown coming. I suggest I start hoarding litter boxes now for when I become the crazy cat lady.
