Cover, Everything You Need to Know About the Goth Scene
Acker, Kerry. Everything You Need to Know About The Goth Scene. New York: The Rosen Publishing Group, 2000.
On a recent trip to the library, the girls and I picked out some summer reading books for them and their brothers. They’re not what most people would consider. Jordan wants to teach himself Calculus; Alek wants to review Algebra; Ravynn wants to teach herself Algebra; and Whisper just wants to get ready for 4th grade.
With the idea of reading and reviewing some books on Goth culture – just to see what information is being presented to the non-Goth public – I did a quick search while we were there. Being that we live in a town of 56,000, I didn’t expect to find much. I was excited and surprised to find four titles listed. I went to find them. three were available and one has been either lost or stolen [of course, that’s the one I’m most interested in reading].
I’m a working mama with a busy schedule, four kids, a full-time job, and a home business, so I did plan to start with the smallest book. As I pulled out the Everything you Need to Know title, I was tempted to put it right back. My problem with it? Quite simply, the cover. I couldn’t imagine a book that offered that image as the representation of the Goth culture would provide any useful information – and I fully expected to be annoyed with what it did provide. Now, I know the cover model could be a lovely young woman with a charming outlook on life, but when I look at her, I see one thing – ROOTS!! While I try not to overgenarlize or stereotype, Goths are a people typically drawn to beauty and border on the vain. Many of the Goths I know (the husband included) wear their vanity as a badge – that photo doesn’t fly.
But that photo wouldn’t keep everyone from reading it, so we popped into Panera, ordered iced acai teas, and started reading. Actually, we finished reading too. The book is 65 pages long. Minus 9 pages of introduction and 21 pages of lists, glossary, index, and reading lests at the end of the book, it totals 35 pages. Ravynn and Whisper were with me and were pretty entertained with what I was reading to them. Of course there was a lot I had to explain. Starting with:
The Introduction: I had to keep reminding myself that the pub date on the title is 2000 and there is a lot of information that was assumed truth at that date that isn’t so much anymore. The focus of the intro is on the shootings at Columbine High school and how just because those Goths were bad and dangerous doesn’t mean that all of us are. I wanted a reminder that although they were described as Goth by one witness, that it’s not so much true, but it didn’t come. The most helpful bit in the introduction is where Acker writes, “People judge Goths based on their clothing tastes and their appearance, instead of getting to know them by talking with them, hearing their ideas, and trying to find things in common with them.” This is true. I’ve lived it. The introduction also explains why I believe the book failed: It confuses explaining the Goth scene with explaining Goths. Phrases like, “some Goths,” or “many Goths” put me on edge. While explaining what draws some individuals to the culture is helpful and refreshing, explaining the “kinds of people” who are drawn to it isn’t.
Chapter 1/The Origins of Goth: Blah, blah, blah. The first half of the chapter focuses on historical Goths and their invasion of Rome. While this is commonly covered in articles on the culture, I fail to see its relevance. What Acker refers to as “Contemporary Goth” is what she means to explain.
Bauhaus’s “Bela Lugosi’s Dead” is often marked as the begining of Goth music. I don’t know if it’s true, but it sounds good and I do adore Peter Murphy. Acker discusses how Goth bands influenced the “look” associated with the Goth culture [black clothes, black hair, pale skin]. Most of the discussion on the culture focuses on the music, but does touch on what we have tried to explain to anyone who asks or expresses interest [especially the Wife Swap producers!]: “Goths wanted to experience emotions, good and bad, because they are an essential part of being human… Goths also established a different idea of beauty — a new aesthetic.”
I want to begin with a disclaimer that I am not on my home computer and unfortunately don’t have the name of the person who sent this amazing FPP box to me this month.
Foodie Pen Pal – June 2012
What an amazing selection arrived in the mail. She hit on every key aspect that I value in food 😉 And even included “something disgusting” for the kids. I took the picture right away, so the girls and I could enjoy the DARK chocolate while we mixed up the honey bran muffins and made plans for everything else. The muffins were lovely, but didn’t last long [I love having kids who like healthy muffins just as much as non-healthy cupcakes]. What looks like a box of stacked tomatoes is actually a tube [think toothpaste-style] of tomato paste. Perfect for those Indian recipes that don’t use a whole can. Bear Naked granola was nabbed by someone else as it sat with the rest of our cereal and I understand it was really good. And the pilaf and Italian spices in a grinder have been used and enjoyed. The “something disgusting” sent for the kids was LOVED by all the kids [and the husband]. They let me try a bite of one of them and I will admit… that’s enough to last me through eternity 🙂
But wow! How awesome was it to get this in the mail ??
Here’s a detailed explanation of the program:
On the 5th of the month, you will receive your penpal pairing via email. It will be your responsibility to contact your penpal and get their mailing address and any other information you might need like allergies or dietary restrictions.
You will have until the 15th of the month to put your box of goodies in the mail. On the last day of the month, you will post about the goodies you received from your penpal!
The boxes are to be filled with fun foodie things, local food items or even homemade treats! The spending limit is $15. The box must also include something written. This can be anything from a note explaining what’s in the box, to a fun recipe…use your imagination!
You are responsible for figuring out the best way to ship your items depending on their size and how fragile they are. (Don’t forget about flat rate boxes!)
Foodie Penpals is open to blog readers as well as bloggers. If you’re a reader and you get paired with a blogger, you can choose to write a short guest post for your penpal to post on their blog about what you received. If two readers are paired together, neither needs to worry about writing a post for that month.
Foodie Penpals is open to US, Canadian residents & UK residents. Please note, Canadian Residents will be paired with other Canadians only. We’ve determined things might get too slow and backed up if we’re trying to send foods through customs across the border from US to Canada and vice versa. So, I’m going to keep two separate lists and match US w/ US and Canada w/ Canada!
If you’re in the UK, please contact Carol Anne from This Is Rock Salt at rocksalt@thisisrocksalt.com to get involved!
Should have posted this yesterday, but I used that as a catch up day. Very excited to be back on track 🙂
WEEK 6, YEAR 1
Day 35 was hard 🙁 We took Alek to the airport to send him off for a 3-week dance intensive. The longest I’ve been away from any of my kids has been an almost 1-week visit with their grandmother. Needless to say, “mama’s freakin’ out!!”
35/365
Fathers Day Dinner. Seared scallops with wilted Asian slaw. The kids told me they as good as Chef Ramsey’s. Haha! As long as no one calls me a stupid donkey, we’re good.
36/365
In my world, dragonflies = faeries. This one landed on me an then was kind enough to pose for a picture.
37/365
Pretty girls. We stopped by the park after dance camp and played in the water. Does my heart good when sisters are friends.
38/365
Yeah!!! My girls are learning something from Winnie Cooper 🙂 We picked up the ‘middle school’ book for Ravynn. She read it in two days and said that it was a “nice review”. She’s now moved on to a pre-algebra workbook.
39/365
Girls night! Ravynn did my hair in a fishtail braid that she learned from her new American Girl magazine.
40/365
Also from American Girl magazine… a poster the girls are coloring together.
The girls wanted to take a walk around town looking for Walking Men Project statues. As we hunted around AU for their contribution, the girls took the opportunity to walk the fountain. Ravynn was a little more sure of her footing than Whisper was.
28/365
PIZZA!!! Homemade 🙂
029/365
Nature at Shadyside.
30/365
No matter where you go in Anderson, you WILL be stopped by a train. When we stopped for our third of the day, we decided to take a picture.
31/365
More nature at Shadyside. I love when ‘in color’ photographs look black and white.
32/365
Flat Stanley [from Cali] with the big grafitti eyeball we found in an alley downtown.
33/365
Researching and writing at Panera. In fact, those are my plans for today as well.
Our Flat People have hit the streets via Priority Mail and are off toward their destinations. We’re waiting patiently for their arrivals, but we wanted to update you on their plans.
Flat Sapphire has made her way to California. She’s very excited as Cali was on her “must visit list”.
She is looking for a place to visit after she returns.
Flat Spring is on her way to Valparaiso, Indiana. She’s visiting old famly friends and we wish we could have gone with her.
She is also looking for a place to visit after she returns.
Flat Stefan is travelling with Alek to Texas and then is heading to New York City. The flat dancer is looking forward to this artistic journey.
He will be looking for a place to visit after he returns.
Flat Jordan was also lucky enough to find a host in one of his dream locations. He’s on his way to France and we can’t wait to share his adventures.
He will be looking for a place to visit after he returns.
Flat Ophelia is on her way to Massachusetts. I don’t know how close she is going to Boston or Salem, but hopefully it’s not too far and she can check a dream destination off her list.
She is looking for a place to visit after she returns.
The Flat Gothlings had initially scheduled a trip to New Hampshire with plans to make a road trip to New York City. I just got an email from the coordinator of this trip who reported interest in flying the Flat Gothlings to Afghanistan to visit with the father of one of the girls in the NH group. They might be gone for awhile, but that’s okay.
I don’t remember when I first learned of Flat Stanley. I’ve never read the books and the kids have never done Flat Stanley projects for school. I suspect a friend mentionned it or it was featured on one of the blogs I follow. I do know that it’s popped under my radar several times since then and several times I thought about doing a home version. Neither of the boys were especially interested and the project was too intended for their benefit for me to do all the work. Ravynn and Whisper, however, are incredibly interested.
So far, they’ve designed Flat Stanleys for themselves and one for each of their brothers. I have one ready for me and the girls have completed the pair that I was going to do. We have trips scheduled for a couple of them and are signed on to serve as a host family for someone else. We really look foward to that.
After browsing the website, it seems there aren’t rules so much as suggestions, so it’s up to each participant to decide how they want their Flat experience to go. I’ve talked with the girls and at this point, this is the plan.
Write a bio for each of our Flat People [posted below]
Ask hosts to fill out travel logs and sign signature pages [encouraging them to decorate the pages]
Allow return of digital picture files
Plan visits for 1-2 weeks.
Create a binder to hold the travel logs and signature pages.
Blog their trips!
First, though, let me introduce our Flat People to you.
Flat Sapphire [designed by Ravynn]
Birthplace: Anderson, IN Birthdate: 6/9/2012 Favorite color: Blue Lucky number: 5 Hobbies:
Yes, I plan to post these 365 updates on Saturdays, but I’ll be honest. Yesterday was difficult for me. It would have been my dad’s 85th birthday. I really just wanted to sit around and snuggle my kids.
But, we’re back at it and I have some photos from this past week to show you.
WEEK 4, YEAR 1
Last Saturday, Ravynn decided to start a 3,000 piece puzzle. She made quick work of most of the border, but then decided she didn’t like sitting on the floor to work on it, so she boxed it back up. After spending a couple of days rubbing her sore back, I thought this was a great idea.
21/365
After feeling really proud of myself for going to bed early, I was slightly annoyed with Eric when he woke me up to see this “really cool thing” in the living room. I got over that immediately when I saw this incredible dragonfly on the ceiling fan. I wish the camera had captured how gold it was.
22/365
Sweet snuggle bug waiting patiently for her turn on the computer. She got a little sun.
23/365
Yes… those raspberry bushes that I planted in the fall and keep stressing over [we need more rain!!] finally produced fruit. Two little berries. I let the girls have them. I understand they needed sugar.
24/365
Ravynn completed her Flat Person and wanted a photo of the two of them together. After watching the first two seasons of Vampire Diaries, she was understandably upset when I referred to her creation as a doppelganger.
25/365
Whisper go a foot tattoo to remind her while I was at work that I love her CRAZY BIG.
26/365
THIS is what happens when I let Alek make his own lunch… spaghetti salad. I don’t even know what to say about it…
That advice is easier to give than it is to receive.
Ask any kid – being different is not an awesome experience.
Ask any enlightented adult – it should be.
It often takes the distance created by age and maturity to honestly appreciate it. Every person has at least one distinct feature [physical or otherwise] that makes them different and until they learn to embrase these features, they’re often the things that embarass us.
As a child, I was a shortie. Who am I kidding? I’m still a munchkin, barely reaching 4’11”. Inside my family, this is not odd; out in the world, it is. I’ve never been athletic – prefering to sit inside and read than to head out on a bike or even playing in the yard. My mother used to have to force me outside. 🙂 I also didn’t blend with my schoolmates. I went to a small private school [on scholarship, I will note] and we didn’t have the available extra cash for ski trips or the ‘right’ clothes and shoes. I didn’t have the newest electronics.
Lucky for me, I developed an “I don’t care what anyone else thinks about me; What I think about me is the important thing” attitude. This did not impress my parents or my teacher or many other adults, really. If they could see ahead to the current issues with bullying, their tune may have been different.
My own kids, despite Eric’s and my strong encouragement to be their own people and not cater to the boundaries imposed by society [you can’t do that, you’re … a boy… a girl… too young … too old… too short… etc.], have all felt the pressure of being different. Jordan danced until he was 13. Alek, at 14, is still in classes and intends to make a career of it. Both boys, though, felt the sting of unkind comments from other boys in school. At a couple points it required teacher intervention [and we’re thankful for adults who educate about both the art and the athleticism of dance]. They did make it through. Ravynn has been picked on for being small and short – but she’s a full year younger than many kids in her class, so of course she’s small and short. Whisper wore glasses. Jordan wore glasses. Ravynn had a medical condition and has a scar on her face… So many opportunities to be “different.”
I’m pleased with how the kids deal with being their own person. We’ve tried to help. Of course, some issues are more difficult than others and we do shelter through the tears.
I encourage you to shelter and guide anyone who resists being different. Any road is easier to travel with a friend at your side.
I noticed the other day that I often refer to something as “one of my favorite xxx ever.” At a certain point, I realized I must have 100 favorite movies and even more favorite songs. So, I challenged myself to make definitive lists of my top tens as an exercise in creative thinking.
Today, I offer you My Top Ten Songs.
Horses – Patti Smith
I love this song because of the scene from Millenium seen in this video. The song speaks power to me.
And She Was – Talking Heads
The line, “And she was walking through the back yard,” gets to me. The fact that I hear it in David Byrne’s voice is an incredible bonus.
Me and Bobby McGee – Janis Joplin
I think I fell a little in love with Bobby McGee the first time I heard this song.
Tin Man – Schaffer the Darklord
What’s not to love?
Captain Jack – Billy Joel
This isn’t a song I should like, really, but it captures so much emotion.
To Sir with Love – LuLu
My sister considered this song for the father/daughter dance at her wedding. I’m not sure any of us have gotten through it yet without crying.
What’s Your Mama’s Name – Tanya Tucker
Ditto, this song. I love my children above all else so this song tears me apart a little.
Hallelujah – Leonard Cohen
This first time I heard this song, it captured my heart. It was played at my father’s funeral, so I don’t listen to it much anymore, but I feel every note of it.
They Don’t Know – Tracy Ullman
Paul McCartney!! Such a sweet love song.
Flat Sapphire has made her way to California. She’s very excited as Cali was on her “must visit list”. 
Flat Jordan was also lucky enough to find a host in one of his dream locations. He’s on his way to France and we can’t wait to share his adventures.
Flat Ophelia is on her way to Massachusetts. I don’t know how close she is going to Boston or Salem, but hopefully it’s not too far and she can check a dream destination off her list.
The Flat Gothlings had initially scheduled a trip to New Hampshire with plans to make a road trip to New York City. I just got an email from the coordinator of this trip who reported interest in flying the Flat Gothlings to Afghanistan to visit with the father of one of the girls in the NH group. They might be gone for awhile, but that’s okay.
