Empty Nester – Extraordinaire

Archive for the ‘Daily Life’ Category

Foodie Pen Pal Reveal – May 2012

I’ve been a delinquent.  Actually, I’ve been a sick delinquent.  This post was due to be posted yesterday, but I could barely raise my arms, let alone type.  Here is is – better late than never.

Earlier this month a package came in the mail.  Ravynn and were doing dishes – which is odd enough to make it memorable – and took a time out to unpack the joy nestled inside.

I’d let my pal know that I like natural/good for me foods and she did an incredible job.  There was so much, it was difficult to photograph it all, but it includes.

• A box of multigrain crackers
• Two packets of super tasty instant oatmal
• A bag of organic sour worms
• A bag of organic jelly beans
• Two boxes of seaweed snacks
• And a bad of fruit chips

Also, included but not photographed with everything else was a carob peanut butter cup.  But we did get a picture before Ravynn and I gobbled it up completely 🙂

Thank you, Christina!!

If you have any interest in participating, go check out The Lean Green Bean.

1-6/365

I had such a hard time writing that last post that I’ve gotten incredibly behind the schedule that I made to keep myself on track.  Here is a valiant attempt to get back on track.

I’ve made a goal to complete the 365 project.  Basically the goal is to take one photograph each day for 365 days.  I’m having fun so far, but worry, as always, that my life is boring and that no one will care.  I started on a Sunday and am supposed to [ahem] post weekly on Sunday, so I present to you photos 1-6 of 365.

WEEK 1 YEAR 1

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On Sunday – Mother’s Day Sunday, the final performance of Highland Junior High School’s “Willy Wonka Jr” ran. Alek was the Candy Man.  He was a true highlight of the show.  His love for performing and his absolutely capturing stage presense really created a remarkable and memorable character.

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Ravynn worked really hard on her “Making a Mummy” interest fair project for Northside Middle School.  This is a little peek at the mummies on day 40 – just before they were unearthed to create her display.

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 One of my favorite co-workers always comments that she would starve in my house because she “doesn’t eat weird food”.  I thought of her when I snapped this picture. Purple cauliflower, yellow carrots, and plain old boring broccoli 🙂

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 When Ravynn completed her Mummy project, she was incredibly proud and felt very special that her dad let her take one of his original paintings to complete her display. 

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 This month for the first time,  I participated in the Foodie Pen Pal program.  On Thursday, my first package arrived in the mail.  It was a very exciting experience for all of us. 

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 Friday was rehearsal for our annual dance recital.  I love my little bunheads 🙂

Happy Mothers Day!!

I was treated to a lovely breakfast – made especially for me by the two wee princesses – as well as a morning of lounging on the sofa and clearing out the DVR. Relaxation… ahh!  The afternoon will be a little more active – well, at least we have to leave the house.  Alek has a lead role in the HJHS production of Willy Wonka, Jr, so we’re going to head over to watch and embarass him during curtain call.

Several months ago, his English teacher called to get permission for him to audition.  Because he hadn’t mentionned anything about it, I worried that he was just flinging excuses her way to get out of it. Stuck on the phone needing to give an answer while he was at school, I couldn’t check with him.  Crossing my fingers, I deflected back to him.  “If he wants to and is sure he can manage his dance and school schedules, we can make it work.”  As it turned out, he wanted to do the show, but didn’t ask because he thought there was no way to fit it all in.  So… good mama. I hear he’s an amazing Candy Man. I can’t wait to see the performance.

I could hear whispering and giggling coming from the kitchen as the girls worked together to make eggs, toast, sausage, and tea and solve the problems of the universe [or at least of the little girls in the neighborhood]. Breakfast was served with a vase of flowers and a steamy cup of Earl Gray with bergamot.  Cards and homemade pictures = the best!

All of this means I’m doing something right.  That’s not always as evident as it is today, but I did have some really great role models.  My own mother was just short of an angel and her mother was a saint.  I’m sure that’s not entirely true; everyone has their faults, but I don’t have to focus on that if I don’t want to. And I don’t. In addition to Mother and Grandma Rounds, I had lovely aunts, cousins, and sisters who have taught [and continue to teach] me a lot.  I am thankful for them daily.  Aunt Lois, Aunt Margie, Judie, Bindy, Penny, and Aimee: Thank you.

Like most women who grew up in an age when the television was as much a member of the family as the humans, I learned from mothers who weren’t my own. On my personal FB page and on our fan page, I asked friends to tell me who is their favorite TV mom.

Roseanne was the clear favorite [she makes my list too], with me coming in second [although I insist I don’t count since I’m a REAL person]. Tied for third were Peg Bundy and Claire Huxtable. Michelle Duggar [also a real person, so…], Elise Keaton, Kitty Forman, and Sophia Petrillo also pulled in multiple votes. Everyone else on the list drew a single vote. 

The usual suspects appeared: June Cleaver, Caroline Ingalls, Carol Brady, and  Marian Cunningham; yet, no love for Shirley Partridge. 

The not-so-expected appeared: Morticia Addams, Edith Bunker, Olivia Walton, Ann Romano, and Florida Evans.

The modern appeared: Judy Miller, Jill Taylor, Debra Barone, Lorelai Gilmore, and Meredith [Castle].  Honestly, I had to Google most of them.

My personal Top 5 is uniquely me. 

 

Lorelei Gilmore//Gilmore Girls:

Love her relationship with her daughter. Love her style. Love her wit.  Not only is she a great mama, she’d be a great bestie too.

Roseanne Connor//Roseanne:

I’m sure she made her kids CRAZY – heck I’m glad she’s not my mom [or my mother-in-law], but as far as doing and saying the right thing she had it.  Plus, Dan Connor = best TV husband EVER.

Lynette Scavo//Desperate Housewives: Love that attitude. She’s always got it under control – even when she doubts herself. She’s not afraid to show her vulnerability, but has amazing power to pick herself up.

Claudia Finnerty//Grounded for Life: Surprise after surprise and she’s still going.  Those kids are difficult; her husband needs a babysitter.  She holds that family together and does it with style and sass.

Cindy Walsh//Beverly Hills 90210: Umm… does this really need an explanation? Perfect.  Just perfect. 

I see these women as parts of the puzzle designing the the kind of mom I want to be. Someday, I may get there. Probably not. Being a good parent is a work in progress – my expectations keep changing. Because they should.

Heading out for the wee folks…

A new small business opened at our local mall today.  The Magick Skillet is now serving fair-style food at Mounds Mall.  It must be said that this is not our typical preference for dinner, but we always make an effort to support other small businesses.  As a vegetarian family, our options were limited to two sandwich options, both of which were amazing.  We made meals out of the sides as well: Mozzi sticks, Jalapeno poppers, French fries, fried mushrooms, and nachos.  Mmm…

I recommend you head down there 🙂

Spiders and bats and ballerinas. Oh my!

Welcome back to the tour.  We had company yesterday afternoon, plus two kids needing transportation to and from birthday parties.  I was able to photograph the new areas of our home, but didn’t find the time to guide you through.   

 As Scarlett O’Hara said, “Tomorrow is another day,” and well, here it is.    

Welcome back to our home. While last week, we showed you the initial entry way to our home, this week we will journey down ‘the hall’ to the kids’ rooms. Next week, Eric’s and my bedroom will be featured.    

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Spooky Mamas and Papas

I’ve been a ‘goth mama’ almost as long as I’ve been a mama.  My oldest son was born in April 1996 and my second son in March 1998.  My husband and I embraced the goth culture completely [after each having some flirtation with it throughout high school and college – he more than I] in the Summer of 1999. So for three years I was virtually normal and for 12 years, I’ve been dark and spooky.  I prefer it this way.

Recently, Jordan brought home a paper of anti-Goth paraphernalia he found at school, taped to the bottom of a desk.  “How to Tell if Your Teen is Goth“.  As it turns out, we’re all goth. As are most of our neighbors and friends.  The list cannot be taken seriously, but it does end with the warning:

If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene immediately. The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within it. If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your local mental health center.

A mental health center?  Insane advice, really. I wish it was the first time I’d heard it.

Not long after we openned Bats! meow…, we were contacted by a hate group: God Hates Goths. We initially tried to have civil conversations with the group members and their leader, intending to explain our belief structure and our philosophy on raising children.  As it turns out, they had no similar interests and most conversations resulted in name calling and more hateful lies.  I was redirected back to the site tonight as I did a Google search for the text of the paper Jordan found so I could provide you a link.  RG [as the leader identified himself] upped his advice and has published a new page, “De-Gothing Your Child.”  I caution you from the link as several of the methods suggested are nothing short of torture. 

Way back when, we were hit from every side, it seemed, with advice from strangers on how to be better parents. It seemed to focus on a change in wardrobe, hair, and makeup, as if wearing the ‘costume’ of a normal person would improve our skills.  This past week, searching for information has yielded few results. Either the world has become more accepting of freaks [and I do use the term lovingly] or the fad of reforming us has passed.  Either way, it’s okay by me.

I did find some links that may be of interest to you, though:

.:. An Article On Gothic Parenting, which warns that raising children to look ‘like us’ will create misfits and outcasts.  I understand his concerns, but I cannot agree. I’ve raised little goth children and have well-rounded popular kids.

.:. Gothic Liturgy, tells the story of a Christian Church catering to the dark clad youth in their community.  I wish I lived closer. I’d check it out.

.:. The Goth Mom, another blog run by another Goth Mama.  I’ll be checking in there regularly.

All parents don’t need to be identical, just as all children aren’t. The key is finding the mix that works for you.  We’ve found it.  Yes, it involves skulls and gargoyles, bats and spiders. We also end up with stuffed hippos and pink ballet bags, Black Eyed Peas CDs and Adam Sandler movies.  But that’s okay.  We’re happy and not afraid to tell our kids that we love them.

Hug your monsters. Everyday.  That matters more than the width of your eyeliner 🙂

~sheila

Unexpected

Alek went on a run today.  Dance is back in session, but he has Tuesdays and Wednesdays off this semester, so he wanted to fit in some additional exercise.  He was gone less time than usual for a run, but longer than I would have been in 26 degree weather when he came into the house alerting us that there was an owl in the neighborhood.  Now, we don’t live in – or even near – a big city, but we’re firmly in a suburban area.  I’ve seen turkey vultures, a deer, a pig, and many many bats, but never an owl.  The other kids and I threw on shoes and hoodies, grabbed the camera, and headed down the street to check it out.

The girls and I had seen an owl demo at the PowWow last October, but we were still excited to see this tiny creature [Alek had called it a baby].  When we arrived at the neighbors yard, Alek pointed and smiled.  It took the rest of us a while to find the wee thing – Bravo to its cloaking skills! 

Wow. 

It’s all I could say.  Jordan asked why I was so amazed and I laughed.  Why wouldn’t I be?? 

• I expect owls to come out at night, yet it was day.
• I expect owls to dislike the cold, yet here it is the middle of winter.
• I expect owls in the wilderness, yet we were in town.

So much joy from the unexpected.  Even being someone who loathes surprises of any nature, this was a wonderful bright spot in the day and left us wishing for a new surprise tomorrow. The potential impact was not unnoticed.  Mentally, I wagged a finger at myself.

We could all benefit much from delivering the unexpected. Most of us, I believe, settle into the ‘normal’ and the comfortable in many areas of our life.  Family friends, business… emotional, physical, mental.  The forces around us urge movement and perhaps even chaos, but we resist, wishing to be rocked like infants into a comfortable state. 

We must work towards new ‘unbelievable’ events by surprising our relationships in a new way.    We must. The owl has decreed it.

What unexpected things can you bring to your own life to better yourself, your loved ones, or even strangers you come in contact with?  I’m putting this into practice beginning immediately – focusing on Bats! meow… and on my intimate family relationships.

I urge you to look for your own owls.

~sheila

Happy 2011

So often New Year’s celebrations focus more on wishing good riddance to the year just ended than to looking ahead to the year just begun.  We look at [and routinely list] the changes we want to make in our lives to make them better, but rarely look at the personal changes that will make us better people.  Losing weight is good; living a healthier lifestyle is better.  Making more money is good; being happier in our chosen profession is better.  At least from where I stand.  🙂

My goals -including my business goals- will be made with personal improvement in mind.

Our celebration was very low key.  Kids and I watched a movie while Eric played a game on the computer.  About 10 minutes before midnight, we switched the TV to the FOX NY party and counted down the last 30 seconds to the new year together, then toasted with champagne and sparkling juice.  A birthday wish to my dear Mother rang out in our home as fireworks echoed down the street.

For many years, my NYE plans included a midnight call to Pennsylvania. This year, though, it was spent explaining to our kids why Grandma doesn’t read the birthday cards we send.  That renewed my interest in completing our family tree project.  Keeping everyone connected, you know 🙂  And made me promise to take a photo a day throughout the year. Hone my skills and keep me blogging.

Best wishes for health, happiness, and prosperity to you in this new year.

The next week will move us closer to a solid plan for the year.

~sheila

Death of the Blog

Not really.

Back in April, I took a temp job as a third shift sewer at a pillow factory in a neighboring town.  The work is easy; the other sewers are sweet; the hours took some getting used to, but I’ve adapted.  Even getting back into the swing of it after a long weekend (I work M-Th, 6:30pm-5am) is easier than it was at the start.  The real issue I’m dealing with -DAILY- is how much this schedule is interfering with everyday life. So many things I did regularly have fallen by the wayside.

I’m not just talking about FarmVille!  😉  Although that clearly shows signs of neglect.

Mostly I’ve been neglecting this blog, my Facebook fan page, and other online communities and message boards where I promote the site and gather advice and hints.  By the time I get back, I’ll need to start over building relationships. More incentive to make time for all of it, I guess.

But when???

… pardon my moment to whine …

Working until 5am, I get home at 5:30 and cannot fall asleep right away. I stay up and catch up on some DVRed shows. I get to bed by 6:30 and sleep until 1 or 2. I do not get enough sleep; I know that.   Having to leave for work before 6, I have about 3.5 hours. During that time I want to spend time with my kids and I have to do errands and household chores. I feel bad about the things I feel there is no time for. And I feel there isn’t time for much.

… end whining …

Hopefully soon this time dilemma will change. I’ve had two interviews this week and I feel really good about them.  At the same time, I’m daydreaming about Bats! meow… being a full time job.

Step One:  revival of the blog!

Welcome back!!

Blog via phone

So we upgraded our phones.  Just about the first thing I did was find the WordPress app.  If I learn to type faster, I’ll blog more often.

~ sheila