Our family isn’t typical…

My boys dance.  Eric guest performs. Jordan studied for 7 years. Alek still does. Most recently, he appeared as Harlequin in our local production of the Nutcracker.  He’s very talented and we’re very proud of him. They began dancing when they were 4 and have worked hard at one of the best studios in the Midwest.  When Ravynn turned 4, the boys came to me concerned. She wanted to take ballet, too, but they worried that it was only for boys [never mind that their classes had always been full of girls].  They were incredibly pleased when we bought a tiny pair of pink ballet shoes.  It wasn’t until a minor incident in 4th grade when they felt the bullying effects of being different.  A very kind teacher explained what exactly was the problem with the phrase ‘ballerina boy’ and it mostly ended. There are still comments flung around, but Alek who’s 12 and in 7th grade is strong and ignores them. 

Our family is goth.  Locally, we’re semi-famous for it, but you may have noticed from other comments or photos or even the About page associated with this blog.  Eric and I embrace being different, but each of the kids have at points heard rumors or fielded snotty comments based on how we look or dress.  It’s a great opportunity to talk to them about stereotypes and prejudice and about not having to conform to make other people happy.  For the most part they get it, but I understand [having been a 10 year old girl once upon a time] that there is still a sting involved.  I hate that.  At the same time they love when their friends think we’re cool because of the way we dress or the music we listen to.  I kinda like being famous at the elementary school, but not to the detriment of my kids.

When I read news stories about bullied kids or hear about it from fellow moms, my heart aches.  No child should have an unhappy childhood.  I mean there are some situations that cannot be avoided and the pain of them cannot be minimized, but… if the pain is caused by other kids or adults being hateful and unaccepting.  Well, the simple fact is that should be easy to change.

Several weeks ago, a Facebook post brought my attention to the blog, Portrait of an Adoption. Young Katie was being teased for wanting to carry a Star Wars water bottle to school.  Three cheers for social networking.  Geek Girls came out in force to support Katie. As I understand, Geeks, Nerds, and Dorks all came out to support her and give her strength.  I think this is awesome!  It’s what I’ve tried to teach my own kids.  Differences should be Celebrated. Sometimes they are, as with Katie’s situation.

Checking on Portrait of an Adoption, I read the story of author Cheryl Kilodavis and her book My Princess Boy. Her website explains it as:

My Princess Boy is a nonfiction picture book about acceptance. It tells the tale of a 4-year-old boy who happily expresses his authentic self by enjoying “traditional girl” things like jewelry, sparkles or anything pink. It is designed to start and continue a dialogue about unconditional friendship and teaches children — and adults — how to accept and support children for who they are and how they wish to look.

The response she is getting isn’t near as positive as Katie’s mother found for her.  Now, it isn’t all negative and maybe I”m experiencing emotional reactions to the negative comments that I do see.  I’ve been in the same place. People have, over the years, explained to me that it’s not ‘normal’ for boys to study dance or to have long hair [Eric does and Alek did until he cut and donated it in the summer of 2009]; I’ve been told that it’s not normal for them to do these things because society believes them to be ‘for girls’.  Somehow along the line it became acceptable for girls to want to do ‘boy things’, yet not for boys to want to do ‘girl things’.  I suggest we let kids do kid things and leave it at that.

I’ve fought the good fight for my kids. Cheryl is fighting for hers.

I encourage you to honor acceptance for everyone and embrace diversity in your own life today.

Circumstances in my life indicate I’ll be spending a lot of time in the near future explaining exactly what it does and does not mean to be goth.  I want to know what folks are saying

For now, enjoy the rainbows   We ran into these on the drive to the grocery after the Egg Hunt on Saturday.  Luckily Eric was driving and I could aim the camera out  the window!

~ sheila

We’d never worked with brown eggs before, so we were unsure what dropping them in dye would do. To be safe, we added the suggested 2T of vinegar to keep the colors vibrant.  And let them soak extra long.

It worked

Now, we want to eat them, but the rules clearly state, we cannot until Easter.

Tonight, Eric and I are heading down to Indianapolis to do a little PR, but we’re staying home long enough to watch the season premiere of Wife Swap.  Maybe I can get a nap first.

~ sheila

In Beverly Lane, Eric plays a redneck zombie killer who shows up to help a small office full of people deal with the Zombie Apocalypse.

Goofing off between scenes.

Alek and I were labeled as Featured Zombies and spent an extra few days on the set causing mayhem. Oh, and goofing off between scenes.

We’re coming to get your braiiiiiiiiiiiiiins!

The movie was also covered in the local paper this morning. The article “Zombies Take Over Local Scrap Yard,” features photos of Eric and of Ravynn and Whisper.  Sadly, I can’t figure out how to copy them out from the website [because they want us to buy them]…

Now that filming is done, I’m back to website re-creation.  Writing product description copy makes my head hurt.  More on that later

~sheila

Cool, no? Good friends give on to others. They share the love and wealth and cupcakes. And so, the rules for this privilege are to:

• Copy and display the award on one’s blog.
• List who gave me the award and link to their blog.
• List 10 things that make me happy.
• Pass the award on to other bloggers and visit their blog to let them know.

Let’s see, things that make me happy:

1. Eric, my love and partner in crime.  We’ve been together forever, but those hugs still fix what ails me.
2. The monsters [Jordan, Alek, Ravynn, & Whisper] and the music of their laughter.
3. Mail with stamps – cards, letters, invitations, postcards.
4. Crashing through a roadblock in my genealogy research or finding new-to-me old family photos.
5. Finishing a new product design and pattern and showing it off
6. Moose tracks ice cream on an almost hot summer day.
7. Exploring old cemeteries.
8. Snuggling under the blankets ALL DAY on a Saturday and watching movies I’ve already seen 100 times.
9. Knowing that, if only for a few minutes, all of the laundry in the house is clean, folded and put away.
10. Being able to drive with the windows open for the first time each spring.

And for the blogs, I nominate and recommend:

La Vida Dulce

Crush Mix Blend

Smarter than Pancakes

Mommy’ s Journey

When the kids get home from school, I’ll have the boys check it over.  Also, Eric is on his way home from work, so maybe he’ll look it over. After confirming the office wasn’t closed for President’s day and also after answering work email [that came in this morning] from home, he drove in.  Only to find the office closed.  He’s supposed to get a phone notification when the office is closed, but no call came.  He’s cranky

We may head out for lunch, but at the same time get some work done on this new product.

I’m crossing my fingers.

~sheila

UPDATE: I just talked to a friend who owns a design company out of Pittsburgh and he’s willing to help out with the dog ‘problems’.  I know good people and I’m happy for the support we give each other.

The day started with a drive out to Camp Chesterfield for the tea reading seminar.  I’ve never read tea leaves, but I really want to!  So, I’m hunting for loose tea through a couple of websites that were suggested by friends.  I’ve spent some time looking at Stash Tea and Special Teas is next! I’m also hunting down tea cups with plain white interiors on Ebay. I’ve found I set that I like and I’m waiting for an answer from the seller about the inside.

There wasn’t a great depth of information provided at the seminar, but there was enough that I’ll feel comfortable giving it a go once I have everything I need.  The process for the readings is fairly simple:

• Brew a HOT pot of tea with loose tea
• Pour a cup
• Drink most of it.  Sipping the tea will allow your aura to infuse with the tea and will give a proper reading.
• When the tea is mostly gone and there are dregs showing in the bottom, hold the cup in your left hand and swirl it three times.
• Place the saucer upside down over the cup and flip it all together and all at once, so the cup is sitting upside down on the saucer [which is right-side up].
• Turn the cup three times and end it with the handle facing you/the reader.
• Lift the cup and explore the patterns left by the leaves.

The suggestion was to use a cup with a white interior so the leaves are easier to see.  Patterns on the left of the cup indicate the past; patterns near the rim indicate the present/near future.  Dark leaves indicate a man; light leaves indicate a woman.

I need to do more research to learn the meaning of specific symbols. I’d hoped the class would touch on that more, but it didn’t.

What the class did focus on was the importance of drinking tea for health – both physical and emotional.  The mention of tea parties for children brought back lovely memories of sitting in the living room at my grandmother’s home with my Aunt Lois.  She drank tea ALL the time and made cups for my sisters and I when we went to visit – which was quite often as we were lucky enough to live across the street.  We sat and drank tea while we watched Grandma crochet or put together puzzles.

Grandma Rounds

Aunt Lois taught us to embroider and let us help her with projects. Now I have to wonder exactly how much help we were   The tea seminar really reminded me of those days, which was nice.  We lost Grandma in 1979 and lost Aunt Lois in the summer of 2008.  I always think of them when I have a strong black tea.  I will continue to do so.

After we came  home, we had bags of loot to sort – BAGS.  I attempted to take photos in order to share the before and after [as many of these items will become one-of-a-kind items for Bats! meow...] but I hit some strange combination of buttons on my camera which changed the options to Black & White photos.  You really need to see the color on these! So after I call customer service and get that straightened out, I’ll be able to share!  As we were digging through the old costumes, we checked the tags and waistbands for the ever-present name in Sharpie ink that told us who they used to belong to.  Some of these clothes belonged to girls who were smaller than Ravynn and Whisper when we met them.  Eric and I started working with the studio in 1988, when he was a college freshman. We entertained the kids for hours with stories of when their ballet teachers were little and with descriptions of past choreography.

The evening ended with the Grammys.  Normally, we skip them.  This year,  however, Whisper had begged us for days to pick up 3D glasses at Target and we were ready for the Michael Jackson tribute.  I was pleased that they were broadcasting expected air times for performances as the show progressed.  10pm…  almost two hours past the girls’ bedtime and an hour past the boys’.  With a quick reminder that they’d have to get up for school with NO complaints, we agreed to let them stay up. I joked on my personal Facebook profile that I was ‘the worst mother ever,’ but I’m glad we made the decision we did. Instead of watching covers of his more successful songs, we were treated to a celebration of his humanitarian efforts. I cried. I did.  Whisper did too.  She didn’t know who he was prior to his passing, but has since become his biggest fan – even asking for an MJ birthday party in February.  Because of her tears, she snuggled up onto my lap and sat for a few extra minutes and was treated to seeing his two oldest children accept an award on his behalf.  Children should not lose their parents so young.  Everyone felt that.

This morning the girls hopped out of bed while the boys dragged their way through the morning [much like mama!] and I treated them to some music during breakfast.  We listened to Michael because his CD was in the CD player.  As we waiting outside for the bus, Whisper looked up at me and said, “The next time I hear ,Remember the Time,’ I’m going to dance because it’s good to remember and we should be happy when we remember love.”

Remember. And dance.

~sheila

While I was able to sleep in some [and planned to do it], I slept much too long and had to rush to get Alek to dance class on time.  He’s a drop-and-go kid, so after the quick drive over, I ran back home. I should have gone straight to the sewing studio and got to work, but I planned on a relaxing late afternoon. So I sat down and watched a couple episodes of a cartoon I really dislike with the other kids.  Before I knew it, it was time to head back to pick him up. Woops!

It should have been another quick trip over and back, but I think Alek stopped to talk to every last person in the building before coming out to the car.  His social nature isn’t usually a problem to our schedule, but I didn’t work that many extra minutes into the morning.  Back home and it was time to wake up Eric for another drive back to the dance studio. Somewhere in the hour that I was at home, I started to wonder about myself.  Aren’t Saturdays supposed to be quiet?

Maybe they are, but today we were helpers.  The studio where the kids take classes had scheduled a cleaning day for the props and costumes room.  Ravynn’s teacher had asked me on Tuesday to come and help out and I talked Eric into joining me.  Alek, because he is moving on up in the class hierarchy, decided he should go and help too. Besides, there was the promise of picking up discarded loot.

The session was scheduled from 1-4.  We arrived about 20 minutes early and worked hard. My phone rang a couple times while the kids checked in from home, but it was early.  When we stopped long enough for a rest and to gather our finds into a neat bundle that was out of the way, I checked my phone for the time – almost 5!  So we said our goodbyes and headed home.  Within the next few days, I’ll try to photograph some of the wonderful items we picked up.  Eric will use them in his paintings and I’ll use them in one-of-a-kind fashion designs.  Alek even got some fun things for himself.

When I got  home, I realized that three of us hadn’t had lunch yet and it was time for dinner.

I kind of copped out on cooking for the kids and made fish planks, a box of microwave noodles with cheese sauce, and canned peas.  I desperately need to go to the grocery, so I had to get creative for Eric and I.  I sat down with my BH&G cookbook and started flipping through pages, determined to make the first thing I had all the ingredients for.  It could have gone bad. Luckily, this cookbook starts with an appetizer section.  I was overjoyed to find out I could make Coconut Shrimp -and- that they were easy and low-fat.  Ravynn and I went to work while the fish baked. I really like cooking with her and it appears she likes cooking with her mama too.

After dinner, we sat down to watch a documentary from the History channel about death masks. I was amazed by how interested the kids were, but also happy that it led to some interesting conversations about President Lincoln, Napoleon, and John Dillinger.  Just another reminder that MY KIDS ARE AWESOME!  After that, the boys asked for a movie, so we had them pick - Zombies Anonymous was their choice.  It was a decent movie, but nothing I’ll watch everyday.  I liked the angle they took on the zombie/human relationship.

The boys retreated to their room for another movie while the girls asked if they could stay up. Sure, but we need to turn off all the lights so it’s spooky   Agreed. Someone chose the movie P2, which stars the movie-making kid from American Beauty.  Whisper zonked on the sofa about half an hour in, but Ravynn is loving this movie.  She’s our little night owl and is very proud of that fact. This movie is much better, but has had one or two questionable scenes/events.  I can forgive them; it’s tying together pretty well.  We’ll see how it ends.

Despite the fact that I’ve accomplished nothing, it’s been a really good day.  I hope for more just like it in the future.

~sheila

I’ll share my notes.  I hope you enjoy.

~sheila