Sitting with the kids tonight, I asked them what they think makes a successful adult.  Ravynn stated “someone who is polite and speaks nicely to people,” while Whisper’s definition was “someone who is loving and kind.”  I was pleased that they are absorbing what I want to teach them and hope we continue along this road together. 

This advice from Thoreau sums up many of my hopes:

Each second we live is a new and unique moment of the universe, a moment that will never be again  And what do we teach our children? We teach them that two and two make four, and that Paris is the capital of France. When will we also teach them what they are?

We should say to each of them: Do you know what you are? You are a marvel. You are unique. In all the years that have passed, there has never been another child like you. Your legs, your arms, your clever fingers, the way you move. You may become a Shakespeare, a Michelangelo, a Beethoven. You have the capacity for anything.

If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away.

- Henry David Thoreau

I sit now, wondering how to teach someone WHAT THEY ARE.  Not easy, but I’m committed. At least to leading them to the path of discovery and allowing them to find the truth for themselves.

I hope to see more parents with the same concerns.

~sheila

After we’d celebrated Yule in December and anticipated the days growing longer and after we’d gone to the grocery on Saturday in long sleeved shirts instead of winter coats, I was completely unprepared for how cold and dark it was at 7:30AM when the girls stepped out to wait for their buses.  I think I should have taken coffee with me.  I should have also taken coffee with me when Eric and I trekked across town on foot [really, it was only a few blocks] for a scheduled 9:00AM appointment in the courthouse only to find a note posted informing us that the courthouse is closed for observance of the NY holiday.

Grumble.

At least I had this gorgeous face waiting outside with me.

The cold walk back to the car instead of sitting down in a nice warm office got me thinking about yesterday’s post, though.  The ‘roll with the punches’ aspect of acclimating to the change around me.  As a DM, I’m responsible for many of them, but sometimes a player with throw a weird decision my way or a random question will throw me into a tangent of new creative options to test the players. 

Today, in the cold, I wondered about new creative options to test me.

We all become lazy and comfortable in the roles we build for ourselves: wife, mother, sister, friend, business owner. And shouldn’t we all want to be the best of them that we can?  Maybe we all need a random dice roll to move us in another direction?

I think I’ll try it.

~sheila

Truth

I found my Christmas stocking FULL of items suited to being a DM.  For those of you not in the know, a DM is a dungeon master. Sort of a tour guide in the world of Dungeons and Dragons.  I’d played a bit shortly after Eric and I got married and moved to Orlando, Florida.  I was hooked. After we moved, we tried to get groups together every now and again, but nothing stuck.  A couple months ago, we tried again to get a group together.  It worked!  I’m sure it helps greatly that three of our four kids are old enough to play and the youngest already shows an interest. Even if we can’t find friends to come over and join us, we’re set! 

Truth:  I greatly dislike DMing.  Judge, jury, executioner.  Yes, it all sounds like something I should enjoy.  Storycrafter, dreamer.  More like me.  Organizer, task-keeper, manager.  Even more like me.  However, there is something about the job that drives me up a wall.  A weathered, gray stone, stained with the blood of orcs, wall.

Truth: I shouldn’t complain.  My family likes playing together and they claim I’m good at it. 

As it turns out, I’m in good company as a DM and player.  Many people I respect greatly are known to play. Kevin Smith, Jon Favreau, Matthew Lillard.  Even Judy Dench!

So, as a part of my preparations for 2011, I’m embracing what D&D [DMing, especially] can teach me. 

1. Planning
2. Updating those plans on the fly
3. Enjoying the journey
4. Accepting help
5. Always using a critical and creative eye

Although, I also need to keep in mind that it’s not all about the loot or the XP.

 ~sheila

My goals -including my business goals- will be made with personal improvement in mind.

Our celebration was very low key.  Kids and I watched a movie while Eric played a game on the computer.  About 10 minutes before midnight, we switched the TV to the FOX NY party and counted down the last 30 seconds to the new year together, then toasted with champagne and sparkling juice.  A birthday wish to my dear Mother rang out in our home as fireworks echoed down the street.

For many years, my NYE plans included a midnight call to Pennsylvania. This year, though, it was spent explaining to our kids why Grandma doesn’t read the birthday cards we send.  That renewed my interest in completing our family tree project.  Keeping everyone connected, you know   And made me promise to take a photo a day throughout the year. Hone my skills and keep me blogging.

Best wishes for health, happiness, and prosperity to you in this new year.

The next week will move us closer to a solid plan for the year.

~sheila

So, as she sat on my lap last night crying and trying to curl up into as tiny a ball as possible, I asked what would make her happiest.  The kids are on spring break through the weekend, so today could be used to spoil them just a bit.  Her request was simple enough – a picnic at the cemetery and a trip to the park.  Yes, the cemetery.  It’s quiet with big trees for shade and no noise or fear of someones child stepping on your food. Truth be told, mama needed a little pick me up too

When I got up, I feared I heard rain.  But no, they promised a bright and sunny day – with record-breaking temps.  I’m no big fan of the high temperature, but a promise is a promise.  So, right after breakfast we started packing.  “Peanut butter &” sandwiches: two requests for plain PB, two for PB&J, and one for PB & Miracle Whip.  We packed blankets, “fancy” cups, plates, and then headed to the store for the extras – oatmeal date cookies, strawberries, whipped cream, and a couple kinds of chips – oh! and flowers. Then straight to Maplewood West and our favorite picnic spot under the big tree and a bit away from the headstones.  Of course, we’re still surrounded by them, but we’re not ‘on’ anyone.

Ravynn and Whisper perked right up after we got settled.  It was so good to see Whisper smile   The fact that she got to pick her own chips and strawberries was a key factor, I’m sure.

The boys had a good time too.  Doritos with Cool Whip [eww!] and good sandwiches kept them happy and in a chatty mood.  It’s nice when the teen-aged sons still like to hang out with the family.

Ravynn and I shared a special moment toasting “weirdos and freaks.”  We caught the first one on camera, but there were many many similar moments – trust me

We all enjoyed the fresh strawberries, although some of us [ahem... Jordan] made a much bigger mess than the rest.

And the picnic ended with delivering flowers to a very special girl.

After that we ran over to Shadyside Park where I sat and read Practical Magic while the kids played. Together.

It was a lovely day and a nice part of our spring break.

~ sheila

Last winter, my friend Kim and I started roaming the old cemeteries in the area taking photos to help out with some needed tasks at Find a Grave. As I am an amateur genealogist, it seemed the right and proper thing to do [before I could feel good about posting my own requests].  Taking photos for those requests, while still very important, morphed into taking photos for our own enjoyment.  Truth is these stones won’t be around forever. Even in a few months, we saw serious deterioration in one of our more frequently visited locations. Photography helps preserve them – just a little.  When the kids were released from school from the summer, they started coming with us.  I’d replaced my first digital camera with a newer version, so I’d bring along ‘the old one’ and let the kids take turns snapping pictures.  Because there are four of them, I’d occasionally hand over the newer camera and let them play.  I love digital cameras for the ‘no risk’ aspects!

On a visit to Seigler Cemetery in Frankton, Indiana, Ravynn captured this photo.

When I started listing some of my own work on our Etsy site, she asked me to list a black-and-white version of her photo.  I was happy to do it – I love this photo!  Several times a day, she’d come to me and ask if any sold yet.  I’d been warning her it could take a couple weeks or a month – even longer – for a sale.  Well, only two days in, when we returned home from dance classes last night, she checked email and found a sale.

Ravynn has sold a photo.  A professional at age 8.

Now, we’re all hoping for a short winter, so we can get back to work without freezing our fingers.

~sheila